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of course he would think you hate him
men who are scared like that immediately will jump to that conclusion
it doesnt matter what you say
even tsurugi is afraid ill leave him someday
even though he knows i love him and would kill for him and want no one else but him
what makes wataru different from goro
goro is worse about showing his emotions

If Wataru doesn't listen, that has nothing to do with me. Why would I tell him that I love him if I hate him?

Goro is worse about speaking on his emotions.

But it's different

The way he holds me...I know that I am his, and I know that he needs me to be his. I feel wanted and safe with him, instead of uncertain. Despite his rough edges, I know that we are partners, bound together.

We understand each other.

do you though
understand goro
are you sure about that yusuke
hes bound to me by blood you know
forever
if i told him to kill you he would obey
if i told him i wanted to eat you for breakfast he would serve you up on a platter to me
i think youre being unfair to wataru
even if hes also an idiot and as stupid as tsurugi can be

Yes, I do. Why would you say something like that? It's cruel.

Don't compare him to Tsurugi.

im making a point
and ill compare them all i want theyre both fools with fake smiles

What is the point? To make me feel more lonely? I already know he has to choose you first. That isn't helpful.

I wanted to make his smile real, but he won't let me get close enough.

the point is not to assume you know everything about the people you love
that includes wataru
remember how you asked me how to get goro to open up
that doesnt mean wataru is a lost cause
are you really going to give up on him
clearly he cares about you
otherwise he wouldnt have recontracted with you
imagine how painful that would be if you were in his shoes

I didn't say I knew everything

it's different with him than it is with wataru. I don't have to know everything to properly see him.

I dont want to give up on wataru. I still love him. But I need him to make an effort, and he hasn't, despite every opportunity. It's painful for me top, Diva.. I don't want to wait for someone who makes me feel like I'm not good enough to earn their trust, much less their love.

ill yell at him then
for being an idiot

You don't need to get involved, Diva. I want him to come to me because he misses me and he wants to, not because you force him to.

I apologize. I shouldn't have said anything.

no its okay
i was kind of mean to you
im sorry

It's alright
Perhaps I am cursed
Always to fall in love with men that I can't truly have, not completely, the way I want to.

...you wouldn't do that, would you?

do what
fall in love with someone i cant have exactly the way i want?

Take Goro away from me.

no
why would i do that

I don't know.

You brought it up.

i know but i didnt mean it that way
im not that mean

I know. I know you're just trying to help me. I don't know if it can be helped, though. Even with Goro here, it hurts to see Wataru every day and know that to him, I'm not worth fighting for.

That isn't something you can fix. Hopefully time will help.

im sorry yusuke

It's alright. Even if I have to seek a new contract, even if he keeps avoiding me. I will persevere.

[ It's not alright. ]

dont let him avoid you

He's always at work. That was normally the case, but now it's impossible to get a moment alone with him.

corner him in the back room at fangtasy

I'm not going to force him to talk to me if he doesn't want to. If he wants me back, he'll make the time to tell me himself.

i feel like you need to talk to each other

(no subject)

lempereur - 2021-08-29 21:26 (UTC) - Expand