[ He hates the part of himself that feels understanding. He's walled off this part of himself so much that extending sympathy to someone in the same position seems like it would go against his very foundation. He can't admit it's wrong for someone else without first admitting it had been wrong for him. ]
She picked a really good one...
[ He leans against her, for the physical comfort if nothing else. ]
Tsurugi means 'sword.' [ Touma had named him what he'd always intended him to be -- a weapon. An inanimate object.
He makes no effort to elaborate on why he'd forget. He doesn't know what Kuro has told her, and part of him hopes to never find out. ]
[Sword huh...the newfound knowledge has her lips quirking upward, fangs poking out. Snuggling against his side she looks back out at the park before speaking again, her fingers finding his.]
Ah... [ He doesn't pull his hand back completely, but his grip loosens slightly. It isn't fear -- in hindsight, it only makes sense that she would offer. ]
I can't... [ He's pretty sure that after all Touma and he have done that he's no longer human, but that's terrifying to think about. ] Something like that...
[His reaction has her face falling, the smile sliding away as she feels his grip go loose. Something inside of her twists, her lips turning down with the weight of an oncoming pout.]
Why? Why isn't it okay? Why does everyone think it's so terrible or wrong to be what I am?
[For how sweet the crepe had been there's a sour taste in her mouth as she finds herself pulling away from him, only to stand before him.]
I'm not forcing you to be anything you don't want to be...but don't insult me. Is that what you're going to tell our children when they hatch? That they're not okay?
[Of course she's mad...but she isn't as mad as she could be. She doesn't think she's being scary at all...he doesn't know what scary is or what she's capable of, does he?
He clings to her like a lost child, gripping the fabric of her dress in such a submissive manor she can't help but lift her hand to place it atop his head.]
Don't be a fool. You're human.
[Looks like one, smells like one, acts like one...he's human.]
[ Her hand is soothing on top of his head, and for a moment, he just rests like that. He lets his eyes flutter shut and ignores the tears that roll over his cheeks. ]
I want to be.
Diva-chan... Has Sloth [ It's practically clinical, cold and professional, calling Kuro by his Sin as opposed to his current contracted name. ] told you about the contracts that Servamps make?
[ He wipes her tears on her dress, and it truly does resemble a child as opposed to a grown man. ]
It's not so different than here, I guess. Maybe a little less kinky. [ The laugh that follows is humorless. ] To have their full power, a Servamp has to be contracted to an Eve. Kinda like a Submissive here, but uhm...
Servamps are like... like you. There aren't very many of them, but they're stronger. They can create other vampires, but it's almost impossible to create a new Servamp. There haven't been any made for a very long time.
Ah, I feel like I'm rambling. I'm sorry. [ He raises his finger to brush against the collar on his throat. ]
Someone very important to me... wanted to change that.
[In all honesty she can't really follow what he's saying beyond a basic understanding. Her brow furrows a bit as she watches him cling and wipe his face on her dress. It should be registering as pathetic but she doesn't feel that way for some reason.]
So...someone wanted to make you into what Kuro is?
[ He swallows, and it feels like there's a lump in his throat trying to prevent him from speaking. ]
Yeah.
[ It's in his nature to defend Touma. Yes, what he's doing is bad, maybe even the absolute worst, but Touma is... ]
The spell is very complicated, but over the years... [ He'd been complicit. No matter how much people wanted to say he hadn't been at fault, Tsurugi knew he had been an active player in all of it. ]
Diva-chan, I don't mind what you are, but what I feel... It doesn't matter. I can't go against him.
[Honestly she doesn't. So someone was trying to turn him into what Kuro was? Fine, whatever, but he wasn't what the lazy vampire was as far as Diva can tell. Her confusion begins to shift into mild frustration as she stomps a foot, a bit like an impudent child would.]
Whatever was being done to you, it didn't work very well. I could turn you, if I wanted. Right now. You couldn't stop me. You're mine...but I won't because Adrian said I can't unless a person says it's okay.
[Ah...she's getting antsy. She doesn't like this, not getting her way. How many times has she been denied what she wants?]
Everyone acts like being a Chiropteran is terrible - it isn't. If you didn't mind what I am you would want to be a family with me forever.
[ Part of Tsurugi can't help but think that not having a choice is the easiest thing. ]
I want to be... Your family...
[ Her attitude only makes him feel guiltier. It'd be easy to just turn everything off, but then, the prospect of living forever horrified him. He can't say that to her though -- no one wants to hear that the father of their children would rather be dead than here. ]
[He's lost. She can tell that much by looking at him. For as childish and cruel as Diva could be, sometimes she really did feel her age. His last chance, huh? She's reminded briefly for a moment of Alexei. She'd given him a second chance at life, hadn't she? Even if it had been short lived.
Maybe she shouldn't be so harsh. He'll come along, she thinks. She'll get her way...she just has to be patient.]
[The mood has shifted now. Whatever playful atmosphere they'd made earlier had become heavy. With his face resting against her chest her hands find his head, cradling it there. Fingers roam but don't stray very far. It's strange really...why is she comforting him when she's the one who needs comfort?
Maybe she's the pathetic one.]
It's really lonely being me, you know.
[Saya and the cocoons aside, she's the only one of her species. Her experience is inherently different from other vampires. Not even her own twin understands her. Maybe no one would.]
[ Apologies have always rolled easily off of his tongue, but he genuinely means this one. He wants to give her what she wants, but he knows it would destroy him. He's barely got a grasp on things now -- he can't fracture the last piece so easily. ]
Does it really mean nothing? If we're not the same?
[Diva has never been good with words unless it were lyrics to a song. She frowns to herself, not sure where to look so she lets her eyes close instead.]
I want a family who's the same as me. I don't want to be just me. I don't want to end up alone. Even my twin who hates what she is has her own Chevalier who loves her.
[ Loneliness has been Tsurugi's pillar all throughout his life. He hasn't been friendless -- in fact, he's had wonderful friends, but in the end, they will always be separated by the differences in their lives. ]
Can I think about it? [ Living forever sounds miserable, but finally having a family and losing it sounds so much worse. ]
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She picked a really good one...
[ He leans against her, for the physical comfort if nothing else. ]
Tsurugi means 'sword.' [ Touma had named him what he'd always intended him to be -- a weapon. An inanimate object.
He makes no effort to elaborate on why he'd forget. He doesn't know what Kuro has told her, and part of him hopes to never find out. ]
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[Sword huh...the newfound knowledge has her lips quirking upward, fangs poking out. Snuggling against his side she looks back out at the park before speaking again, her fingers finding his.]
Does that mean you're my sword?
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[ Tsurugi laces their fingers together, running the tips of his fingers gently over her knuckles. ]
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[She squeezes his hand tight at that, part of her wanting to climb into his lap and tuck herself against him completely.]
Maybe you can be my new Chevalier.
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[ It's a word he hasn't heard before, so he gazes at her quizzically. ]
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[There's a heavy implication there and quite obvious if he cares to let what she's saying sink in.]
We could be together forever then. You wouldn't die.
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I can't... [ He's pretty sure that after all Touma and he have done that he's no longer human, but that's terrifying to think about. ] Something like that...
It isn't okay.
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Why? Why isn't it okay? Why does everyone think it's so terrible or wrong to be what I am?
[For how sweet the crepe had been there's a sour taste in her mouth as she finds herself pulling away from him, only to stand before him.]
I'm not forcing you to be anything you don't want to be...but don't insult me. Is that what you're going to tell our children when they hatch? That they're not okay?
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No! That's not... that's not what I meant! You're scary when you're mad...
[ This time, he does try to grab her, though it's a grasp at the hem of her dress. ]
I... Tai-chan-- [ It's hard to settle on words when he's avoided saying it for so long. He tugs on her dress, only to bury his face in her hips. ]
I'm already...
I don't think I'm human anymore.
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He clings to her like a lost child, gripping the fabric of her dress in such a submissive manor she can't help but lift her hand to place it atop his head.]
Don't be a fool. You're human.
[Looks like one, smells like one, acts like one...he's human.]
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I want to be.
Diva-chan... Has Sloth [ It's practically clinical, cold and professional, calling Kuro by his Sin as opposed to his current contracted name. ] told you about the contracts that Servamps make?
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[It takes her a moment to realize he's talking about Kuro and while he can't see her shake her head she does so anyway.]
Not really, no. No one tells me much of anything.
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[ He wipes her tears on her dress, and it truly does resemble a child as opposed to a grown man. ]
It's not so different than here, I guess. Maybe a little less kinky. [ The laugh that follows is humorless. ] To have their full power, a Servamp has to be contracted to an Eve. Kinda like a Submissive here, but uhm...
Servamps are like... like you. There aren't very many of them, but they're stronger. They can create other vampires, but it's almost impossible to create a new Servamp. There haven't been any made for a very long time.
Ah, I feel like I'm rambling. I'm sorry. [ He raises his finger to brush against the collar on his throat. ]
Someone very important to me... wanted to change that.
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So...someone wanted to make you into what Kuro is?
That's what she's getting out of this.]
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Yeah.
[ It's in his nature to defend Touma. Yes, what he's doing is bad, maybe even the absolute worst, but Touma is... ]
The spell is very complicated, but over the years... [ He'd been complicit. No matter how much people wanted to say he hadn't been at fault, Tsurugi knew he had been an active player in all of it. ]
Diva-chan, I don't mind what you are, but what I feel... It doesn't matter. I can't go against him.
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[Honestly she doesn't. So someone was trying to turn him into what Kuro was? Fine, whatever, but he wasn't what the lazy vampire was as far as Diva can tell. Her confusion begins to shift into mild frustration as she stomps a foot, a bit like an impudent child would.]
Whatever was being done to you, it didn't work very well. I could turn you, if I wanted. Right now. You couldn't stop me. You're mine...but I won't because Adrian said I can't unless a person says it's okay.
[Ah...she's getting antsy. She doesn't like this, not getting her way. How many times has she been denied what she wants?]
Everyone acts like being a Chiropteran is terrible - it isn't. If you didn't mind what I am you would want to be a family with me forever.
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I want to be... Your family...
[ Her attitude only makes him feel guiltier. It'd be easy to just turn everything off, but then, the prospect of living forever horrified him. He can't say that to her though -- no one wants to hear that the father of their children would rather be dead than here. ]
But I can't make Tai-chan hate me.
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[Her voice is eerily even for once, masking the hurt she feels. Some date this is turning out to be.]
You should be honoured I even want to turn you in the first place.
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[ He speaks weakly, fingers gripping the fabric of her dress loosely. ]
You're my last chance... to be happy here. I want you to be happy, too.
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Maybe she shouldn't be so harsh. He'll come along, she thinks. She'll get her way...she just has to be patient.]
...I'll be your last chance then.
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Even if I can't do... that... I'm still yours, Diva-chan. Your sword, right?
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[The mood has shifted now. Whatever playful atmosphere they'd made earlier had become heavy. With his face resting against her chest her hands find his head, cradling it there. Fingers roam but don't stray very far. It's strange really...why is she comforting him when she's the one who needs comfort?
Maybe she's the pathetic one.]
It's really lonely being me, you know.
[Saya and the cocoons aside, she's the only one of her species. Her experience is inherently different from other vampires. Not even her own twin understands her. Maybe no one would.]
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[ Apologies have always rolled easily off of his tongue, but he genuinely means this one. He wants to give her what she wants, but he knows it would destroy him. He's barely got a grasp on things now -- he can't fracture the last piece so easily. ]
Does it really mean nothing? If we're not the same?
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[Diva has never been good with words unless it were lyrics to a song. She frowns to herself, not sure where to look so she lets her eyes close instead.]
I want a family who's the same as me. I don't want to be just me. I don't want to end up alone. Even my twin who hates what she is has her own Chevalier who loves her.
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Can I think about it? [ Living forever sounds miserable, but finally having a family and losing it sounds so much worse. ]
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